


Let go

by Shrug (IcyStarlight)



Category: Hermitcraft
Genre: Angst, Area 77, Bad Coping Skills, Gen, Grief
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-31
Updated: 2019-08-31
Packaged: 2020-10-03 20:25:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20458958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IcyStarlight/pseuds/Shrug
Summary: When they manage to bring Keralis back, Doc nearly works himself to death trying to bring some of the others back. Thankfully,  the other hermits won't let that happen.





	Let go

When they set Keralis free onto the server, he stared at Keralis' back as he walked away. A hermit who had vanished once had now returned. He could bring back the missing hermits. He could bring  _ them _ back. 

Day turned to night and night turned to day. He didn't know how long he had been down here in the bunker. Scar left after Keralis had and had yet to return. It couldn't have been that long right? If no one had come looking for him he hadn't been working long enough. Time seemed to blur together. He spent so long messing with the controls of the time/space machine that he could see them when he blinked and his eyes closed. That was the only time his eyes closed. He didn't need sleep. Sleep could wait. But they,  _ they  _ were out there somewhere. If he could bring Keralis back, one of the ones who left first, he could bring  _ them  _ back. 

At some point the block in his hand vanished. He hadn't set it down, he knew that. Looking around him, for the first time since he had started, he took in the chaos around him. Wires were everywhere. Redstone was all over the ground. Most of it didn't make sense or wasn't even connected properly. And his missing block, sat in Xisuma's hands. Xisuma was here. What? 

"How did you get in here?" he rasped confusedly at X. Wow he sounded awful. Must've just been the stale air down here, it hadn't been that long yet. He hadn't managed to get anywhere. 

"Doc… what are you doing?" X asked strangely, facial expression hidden behind the helmet, eyes searching around the room. 

"I asked you a question first, how did you get in here?" he asked again, more meaning now. This was Area 77, it was off limits. 

X stopped looking around the room. Block clutched tightly between his hands, he stared at him. He hated that look. Like X could see into your soul. He hated it. X seemed to notice his body shifting into a more guarded pose and X relaxed before he spoke softly, "Scar let me in, he's worried about you, we all are, you've been down here two weeks Doc."

"Two weeks?" he wondered out loud. There's no way it had been that long. He hadn't even come close to finding it! 

"What are you trying to find?" X supplied carefully. 

He needed to find a way. He needed to find a way to bring  _ them  _ back. 

There was a soft gasp and a small thud of a block being dropped to the ground. After a split second of silence when he realized he had said that last part out loud, X was talking again. X was talking in the voice he used when he was leading them, "Doc, Doc you can't bring them back."

"But Keralis!" he started but X cut him off. 

"Keralis is just one hermit Doc. We, we've lost many more over the years. Even if you could find another one, who's to say it would be who you're looking for." X pointed out. 

That didn't matter, he didn't care, whatever it took. He grit his teeth and shot back, "Then I'll bring them all back!" 

"Doc," X started, looking across the room eyes far away as he spoke quieter, "Some of them you can't bring back again, because they're gone."

He growled at X and yelled, "But I know they're not gone!" 

"I never said they were, but what would they think? Running yourself into the ground like this? This isn't what they would've wanted you to do." X held up his hands as he explained. A show of nonviolence, but he didn't budge. 

"You don't know that!" 

X sighed, sounding tired as he spoke, "But I do. They were your friends. Just like we are, and no one wants you to do this. Let it go Doc."

"I can't!" he bit out regretfully. 

"Pardon?" 

"I can't let it go." he started, breath hitching before he continued, "If I let it go, then I'll have nothing left of them to hang onto."

X was silent for a moment before he spoke, "You still have your memories."

"Which fade more with every passing day." he spat out aggressively, teeth drawing blood as he bit his lip hard. Eyes staring holes in the floor. Tension unwinding as his emotions slammed hard enough into the dam he built to keep them in that the walls cracked. When he spoke again it was with tears in his eyes and regret in his heart, "I never even got to say goodbye."

X cleared his throat, drawing his attention up from the floor to look at the helmeted man who spoke with that far away look in his eyes, "I won't ask you to stop completely. I, I know how hard having to let go can be. But please just take a break. You still have friends here and they're worried about you."

"_They_ weren't just friends,  _ they _ were family." he choked out. 

"Were family too. And I'm sorry we didn't notice. I'm sorry I've been hiding it from you, but I, we all miss them too." X told him, sorrow hanging in the air, "And maybe our bond wasn't as close as yours was. But we've all had to let go and say some pretty hard goodbyes before. Or have had to move on without even saying goodbye. You aren't alone in this, please let us help you."

They sat in silence. The grief and anger battled inside of his heart before the grief won and he admitted defeat, "...Okay" 

He let X lead him out of the depths of area 77. Closing the doors to the room he had been working in for the past two weeks as they went. Before they stepped outside, where he could hear the other hermits, the rest of his family worriedly talking, he stopped. X stopped behind him confused. He took a deep breath and addressed one of his remaining family members, "And X?" 

"Yes?" 

"Thank you."

"Anytime old friend, anytime."  
  


**Author's Note:**

> NHO angst? in my house? Its more likely than u think


End file.
